For the first session of my Counselling Skills class I’ve been asked to identify the motives behind my desire to become a helper…
For me I feel I’m already a helper, all my life family, friends and loved ones seek me out for guidance, support or just to walk their path with them for a while, listening to them make sense of themselves and the world they live in. Now I’m very involved in the spiritual community, as a leader of a growing community, I’m very aware of some individuals looking for guidance from a very vulnerable standpoint. I want to be secure in the fact I’m not causing damage with my support.
So I have a need to care for others but also I want to make an impact with my time in this life.
Excitement to start with… Later on with the group I felt the energy in the room to be warm, acceptance of each other was already starting to form. I could feel a lot of relief but I don’t think they were my feelings, I think they were what I felt from other individuals. By the end of the session I was still feeling excitement in the prospect of doing something for myself, something I believe in and something that my skills will suit, with a possible career in mind by the end. I felt a connection with Julie as we worked together. I felt pleasure too when individuals of the group started opening up and expressing their own feelings about the session.
I also felt sadness as Barry was talking about the counselling journey changing who we are as people, reacting differently to situations and people. I feel this past year this Is what I experienced. My grief/bereavement changed my perspective on the world and everything around me. A lot of this was positive change, I’m as stronger person, I know what matters and I’m striving to reach my full potential but because of these changes in me, combined my husband’s reluctance to accept change and lack of respect for my choices I ended the marriage and changed our family unit for ever. I suspect Chris will never accept the changes and hate replaces love for him when he thinks of me now. So this session made me briefly explore my personal sadness and guilt unfortunately.
Reflecting on the session tonight…I feel I was already aware of my motivations to join this course, ie my life experiences, my bereavement and my marriage breakdown, so the ‘The Wounded Healer’ concept and the afore mentioned reasons too. I see I will need to be careful within sessions not to monopolise the talking time or talking over others. Also to be aware of crossing boundaries with touch, and not to write too much.