Written Feb 2016 – Added to Blog Feb 2020
‘Your job is to take care not to interfere with the work being done by bringing your dayworld biases to it. Let night be night’
Reading more of ‘The Dark Night of The Soul’ today, I’m finding the book is talking to me.
I have been having a darker period with my moods, with my life… I’m trying to not worry and hurt those around me while I explore these feelings but this has become really tough.
I’ve always been connected to my emotions, although when the darker ones surface I’ve always banished them eventually with exercise or distractions.
Since the period of breavement after my brothers loss and the subsequent break down of my marriage though, I’ve explored just being with my emotions instead. Letting them come, listening and letting them leave naturally.
I feel a need to withdraw from the world especially the love and light side of paganism. I withdraw from my friends, from surface chat. From everything…
I need to explore the darker elements, absorb into myself. I like to be completely alone, although I do have a bad tendency to post obscure dark memes on facebook (must crack down on that one ) While feeling this way I read into psychology, lucifernanism; become more selfish and i explore the dream world.
I find this is probably the aspect of me that I have found is met with the least understanding. But it is part of me as much as the positive side is; my life work seems to be encouraging and supporting people in her life so the flip side is the exact flip side. If I make myself just snap out of it, it reappears again, so I’ve felt in the last few years, I should just work with it when it appears. No pretence or false smiles. Just the exploration and acceptance of self.
I’m wondering how my followers feel about themselves, do you have a dark and light side? Is it healthy? Do you suppress it, hide it? And if so why?