Image from asapScience (youtube)
In our mainstream society, it often feels like the extroverted personality types (as defined by Carl Jung in the 1960’s) are the people who life favours. In short, Jung (the Daddy of psychology as we know it) believed that the extroverted personality draws energy from the external world and from large groups of people. The introverted personality relies more on regular time alone. What energises an extrovert does the exact opposite for an introvert; a dose of introspection recharges this individual much more than a party!
It is worth remembering that these personality aspects do appear as a spectrum rather than us being either one or the other, in a lot of us though. In a nutshell the more extroverted you are, the more excitement you need to thrive; where as the more introverted you are, the less stimulation you need to support your wellbeing.
It does not mean an introvert does not like people or an extrovert cannot be good at planning! It does mean that biologically an introvert get less of a feelgood hit than an extrovert does when spending time with other people.
There is scientific evidence to show that there are structural differences in the brains of the two personality types. A thicker frontal cortex means the introvert has the advantage in impulse control and in addition, planning or deeper thought patterns. In sharp contrast to this, the dopamine high that the extrovert craves and then receives, when pushing a boundary or connecting with others, means this personality type is less likely to suffer from depression or anxiety conditions. A gambling problem or an escapism behaviour is arguably more likely for this type of personality, though!
Our usual society’s framework has an obvious bias towards the more extroverted personality. Networking effectively on the career ladder, cementing friendship groups and drawing useful people in with their vibrant and open personality; they often seem to have the pick of partners, the high flying careers and a more positive outlook on life. For a less extroverted personality looking in, life could seem to be taken all in the extrovert’s stride, and the introverted struggles to get heard, let along get ahead! Luckily this is where the deeper thinking comes in handy, a lot of us are creative or soul searchers; connecting with less people perhaps but on a more fulfilling level, one could argue.
So we knew where we stood individually and also the society we inhabited along with its bias; having plenty of years to build our own space within the parameters meant a lot of us knew who we were and where we fitted but now what has happened? Oh yes, Covid-19 has happened. Aspects of life have changed dramatically for us all.
At first it seemed that, society was shifting for the first time towards a temporary framework that would support a more introverted person to thrive; no more having to invent excuses not to attend the work night bingo or the school mum’s night out. An opportunity to work from home perhaps? I personally have finally got a company interested enough in my writing to want me to write for them. For free, but it’s a start!
Anyway, so endless humorous memes for the introverted of us later, aspects of our new existence has moved along with the extroverts enthusiastic need to connect and ‘do’.
For the more introverted, quiet evenings to read or chat with our loved ones are already being lost under endless group chats, where very little is said and with people we rarely see in normal life. Neighbours we didn’t choose to interact with before, are now acosting us on the doorstep to discuss the latest (and smallest) developments of the coronavirus in the last 24 hours. It’s still an extroverted world even in lockdown!
In addition to this many households are housing a mixture of personality types, it’s rather unlikely that a whole household will hold all extroverted or introverted personality under one roof. An introverted partner when you’re missing both work and your friends/family or a household of extroverted children when you’re used to having the house to yourself for peace and quiet, could very easily become a living nightmare. So what can you do, other than ‘doing a Bart and Homer’ situation on your little ones?
This is where individual self care still comes in. Who are you? What do you need for your positive mental health?
I have always thought of myself as an introvert that can masquerade quite easily as a confident extrovert but this means I can experience ‘burnout’ frequently, due to saying yes when I mean no!
For those of you that are intrigued by the personality types, these two are just the tip of the iceberg. Check out this link for a detailed insight into your personality type. It’s free and takes around 12 mins. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Once you know what you need, you can take the steps to ensure you stay as mentally healthy as you can in lockdown. Tips from me are…
Fulfilling my personal needs – I say no to the third zoom group conversation from vague friendship groups and I explain to my children that my uninterrupted time alone is important for me to stay well to look after them. As far as I’m concerned taking an hour out from entertaining my kids to quietly read is ok!
Communicating – with your family, openly and honestly without blame. An extroverted personality may need to join ‘House Party’ – the social app, but an introverted person might not need to join their spouse. Talk about differences and how to support yourself and each other.
Prioritising – I personally need to stay updated from my close family but I don’t need to know the ins and outs of every person’s struggles with lockdown. So I group chat with my Mum and sister but I don’t go scrolling through social media talking the issues over, with my whole news feed.
Acceptance – Try to stay in the here and now as much as possible. No one really knows what is going to happen. Mindfulness techniques or meditation can help with this.
The best tip and one I don’t always stick to is keep a balance – activities we need to do, activities we want to do and communal activities with those that we live with. Balance is often the key to most things!